had a different kind of weekend this time round. rushing projects, cutting wood, watching ivp races, running up and down to meet old friends, running a devastating 10k real run route, waking up into sleep, sleeping to fall awake- split in consciousness.

.

its the same deal- a mismatch of emotions, a sullen monotony embracing any deeper melancholy.

sometimes i guess this is how life has shaped up for me, the life i chose- not so much what life has made me to be.

im not dying, and i certainly don't know if im living right now either.

i miss talking to you the way we once did. i never missed anything so much.